This is the way I make my pie, and if the judges don't like it, they can go fuck themselves.

On telling people to "go fuck themselves."

I'm a regular viewer of the Food Network, something I thought was neither here nor there until someone said to me, "Oh, someone actually watches that?"

If you're one of the uninitiated, the Food Network is just that: a channel devoted to food. The preparing of it, food contests (Guinness world record sugar sculpture! Giant popcorn Mickey Mouse!), documentary-style shows (Ace of Cakes). There's also a Food Network Canada.

I was recently watching a pie-baking contest, in which members of the public compete for a cash prize. One of the contestants, an elderly woman, was profiled for the show. She was really sweet, and seemed to get on well with her competitors, even sharing some of her pie-making knowledge with them.

The program showed her mixing her pie, and in a slow, deliberate voice she said, "This is the way I make my pies, I've been making them this way for 40 years…"

At this point I like to pretend she ended her sentence by saying,

"…and if the judges don't like it, they can go fuck themselves."

The internet, and blogging, is a lot like that: you can tell someone to go screw themselves. And, here's the shocker: they can say the same right back at you.

The inspiration for this post, such as it is, is from Rogers Cadenhead's "Mena Trott 1, Ben Metcalfe 0".