Blogher: Three points of Controversy (Point 1)

Thanks to The New Charm School for her post, "Dirty Girl: Gutsy Woman?", which has prompted me to write this post. I witnessed three areas of conflict that occurred at Blogher, and because I like numbered lists so much, that is the format used here:

1. The New Charm School discusses an exchange that occurred between panelist Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez (author of the novel The Dirty Girls Social Club) and Jory des Jardins, one of the organizers of Blogher during the Flame, Blame and Shame discussion session.
   
   New Charm School notes:
   

   "Less that 24 hours after she sat on a panel at this conference designed to celebrate and empower women bloggers and to get more women’s voices heard, she posted that she was stopping her blog and leaving the blogosphere because, as she said, 'it smells farty in here.'"

   It now appears that Valdes-Rodriguez's blog, La Queen Sucia (formerly at http://alisavaldesrodriguez.blogspot.com/), has not only been stopped, it has been pulled; this is a shame because, prior to the conference, I had just discovered her blog and thought the quality was very high. In fact, I had linked to one of her pieces in my link blog.
   
   The main bone of contention seemed to be that Jory wanted to start moving the discussion into how men and women differ, and Valdes-Rodriguez responded by saying that overgeneralizing about people rarely helps us understand things better. The exchange was, I believe, liveblogged by Social Mom. Unfortunately, I cannot locate any other liveblogging transcripts at this point in time:

   Audience: I also find that women flame equally. And one of the things I find hardest to accept are flames from women. The flame is usually sort of slow boiling. Men are more direct and in your face. Women like to bond. When I have a problem with one, I buy them a beer, and then we're OK. Men like to one-up each other, playfully. Perhaps we're misinterpreting some of this flame that's coming our way.
   
   Alicia: My entire MO is to avoid stereotyping. I'm uncomfortable with the statement, men do it one way and women do it another way. I find that a little bit offensive and don't agree with it. I like to deal with people one by one.

   I believe "audience" was "Jory", although please correct me if I'm wrong (and point me to another transcript of the "Flame, Blame and Shame" dialogue if you have it.)*
   
   I supported the statement from the author (in fact, I went up afterwards and thanked her for that comment); I didn't want the debate to degenerate into a "gee, men and women are different and there's nothing we can do about it" type of discussion. We could've all trotted out examples that support stereotypes, and I felt this wouldn't be the most satisfying way to spend the time we had allotted. I also did not want the role socialization plays to become invisible in that room. But I realize that's just me. The important part is, I felt that there was room to disagree in that environment, and that we were discussing this in an atmosphere of mutual respect where it was safe to disagree. (Although I understand Jory got red; there was no reason for her to be embarrassed, many women I talked to later that day supported her input.)

Next up: Blogher Controversy Points Parts 2 and 3...

* Update 08/05/05: To see an alternative liveblog transcript of the interchange, see Full Circle Online Interaction.

Update 08/06/05: Apparently, Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez has started a new blog as of August 4, with a new look, but at the same url and using the same name, La Queen Sucia. Archives of her previous writings are gone. There doesn't appear to be any explanation of what happened, why she removed her blog, nor any further remarks on the Blogher event except for the title of "Why HER?!?!", which sounds like it might talk about Blogher - but doesn't.